a fun way to get to know the neighbors :)
20140524
hopscotch kind of day
What do you get when you have an awesome stoop, a busy sidewalk and some rainbow chalk...
a fun way to get to know the neighbors :)
a fun way to get to know the neighbors :)
20140401
.JPG)
20140320
womb with a view
oh, dream catcher
let my dreams come through
and catch the fires that burn within
so that in the morning sun
I may reflect upon the ashes
and watch the green sprigs grow
let my dreams come through
and catch the fires that burn within
so that in the morning sun
I may reflect upon the ashes
and watch the green sprigs grow
20140307
What Woman
What Woman sits crosslegged
in a dress while slouching at the dinner table
eating honey by the spoon
What Woman blows raspberries
and makes faces at imaginary friends
in the park all afternoon
What Woman speeds up for her own delight
and stops time when she wants to
just because she can
What Woman keeps music playing
and doesn't just spasm
but twirls and...
What Woman gets lost in a dusky field
and follows the fireflies home—
(she knows exactly where she is.)
What Woman knows a secret—and knows that she knows
who bites her cheeks in church
and bustles and tickles and squirms
What Woman keeps Spring on her lips
even in the death of Winter
when hibernation boasts of no return
What Woman can break and heal a heart with just a glance,
reminding you of everything you've ever loved
and lost
in a dress while slouching at the dinner table
eating honey by the spoon
What Woman blows raspberries
and makes faces at imaginary friends
in the park all afternoon
What Woman speeds up for her own delight
and stops time when she wants to
just because she can
What Woman keeps music playing
and doesn't just spasm
but twirls and...
What Woman gets lost in a dusky field
and follows the fireflies home—
(she knows exactly where she is.)
What Woman knows a secret—and knows that she knows
who bites her cheeks in church
and bustles and tickles and squirms
What Woman keeps Spring on her lips
even in the death of Winter
when hibernation boasts of no return
What Woman can break and heal a heart with just a glance,
reminding you of everything you've ever loved
and lost
20140224
inquiries of the heart-matter
What role does intellect serve
in realms of the soul?
What is it to know
to understand
to be?
and the purpose of answers,
when questions come whispering in the dark—
or Can you be still enough to hear them?
What could it mean
to be humbled
to be consumed
to yield
to such bigness?
How does a closed heart break open
again and again, without ceasing—
even when all signs point to death?
Where does the hard work of love begin
and does it ever end?
finally, and first of all,
When
will you wipe the sleep from your eyes,
will you seek
the heart of the matter,
give in
to the matter of the heart!
20140216
it is the brave work of Love.
I've had a lot of questions. since I was a child. plagued with questions. I've always wanted to find the answers, and I went around asking everyone… also there were points where I stopped asking them out loud---when I felt shamed with the questions I had, when I was disappointed in the response.. but I always came back to asking (as if there was a choice). I haven't found (m)any answers, and I am (kind of) ok with that now---I expect that---all I really end up with is more questions. but I am happy with a life that always finds something to ask. because one thing I have found: ask enough questions and you'll find less and less reasons to hide. you'll have less to hide from yourself, you'll hide less of yourself from others. this is a self-propelling cycle, which grows as it invites others to do the same.
so to those even "younger and more naive" than myself who are questioning everything, I say: don't stop! never stop. even when They tell you it's not worth the trouble, it's irrelevant, it doesn't make sense, there's no such thing, stay on topic. even worse when they smile and say, oh sweetheart, it's already been done. don't trust anyone who says they know the answer. they don't. they're lying to you or fooling themselves, and either way they're robbing you of the enjoyment of being with your own questions. because here's the thing: while it's incredibly difficult to sit with a question, the rewards are unmatched. small-minded, arrogant assholes will always try to take that away from you. many times under the guise of helping (you poor lost thing). the humility it takes to be stumped, to surrender, to accept one's own ultimate foolishness---that's not something we're taught in school. we are to shut up and listen to the big boys, who say 1+1=2, now repeat. and one day you might be a big boy too if you practice enough (even me? she asks, hiding her vagina).
the sooner you learn to ignore that hogwash, the sooner you can get on with the search. don't let anyone tempt you down a well-worn trail with signposts, and when that inevitably happens, say thank you but no, and turn. or sometimes, just RUN. no matter what path it takes you down, no matter how dark and scary it looks.. many times it won't look like a path at all, because it is not one yet. you'll surely get hurt along the way. but it is precisely here where you will find everything you're looking for. at the risk of this looking like an answer, i would say: it's your own heart. and no one can tell you the answers to the questions of your heart. so take the flashlight and follow the questions that whisper to you in the dark. let us be brave and do the work of love.
so to those even "younger and more naive" than myself who are questioning everything, I say: don't stop! never stop. even when They tell you it's not worth the trouble, it's irrelevant, it doesn't make sense, there's no such thing, stay on topic. even worse when they smile and say, oh sweetheart, it's already been done. don't trust anyone who says they know the answer. they don't. they're lying to you or fooling themselves, and either way they're robbing you of the enjoyment of being with your own questions. because here's the thing: while it's incredibly difficult to sit with a question, the rewards are unmatched. small-minded, arrogant assholes will always try to take that away from you. many times under the guise of helping (you poor lost thing). the humility it takes to be stumped, to surrender, to accept one's own ultimate foolishness---that's not something we're taught in school. we are to shut up and listen to the big boys, who say 1+1=2, now repeat. and one day you might be a big boy too if you practice enough (even me? she asks, hiding her vagina).
the sooner you learn to ignore that hogwash, the sooner you can get on with the search. don't let anyone tempt you down a well-worn trail with signposts, and when that inevitably happens, say thank you but no, and turn. or sometimes, just RUN. no matter what path it takes you down, no matter how dark and scary it looks.. many times it won't look like a path at all, because it is not one yet. you'll surely get hurt along the way. but it is precisely here where you will find everything you're looking for. at the risk of this looking like an answer, i would say: it's your own heart. and no one can tell you the answers to the questions of your heart. so take the flashlight and follow the questions that whisper to you in the dark. let us be brave and do the work of love.
ever morning a sleep end
wipe the sleep from the eye
every morning even
when the sky is not that crispy blue
you love
so much.
is there wisdom
in my naiveté—there is
niaveté in my wisdom
a healthy fool is gold
nobody tell him otherwise
he does his work
he dig
he cry
he bow and
bend and
wipe the sleep from the eye
every morning even
when the sky is not that crispy blue
you love
so much.
is there wisdom
in my naiveté—there is
niaveté in my wisdom
a healthy fool is gold
nobody tell him otherwise
he does his work
he dig
he cry
he bow and
bend and
wipe the sleep from the eye
20140129
--—-–-—----
my tears
make me strong
my tears
connect
remind
lead to
who i am
not just Everything
i am
woman:
who cries
who loves
who cries to be loved
as
a child
who drinks her tears
i consume.
i am consumed.
tie a red thread and
re member
remember me
remember me?
you remember me!
i've been here all along
and
what work we can do
together.
be still
be still
and let me move you
move,
together
we'll learn this dance
together
make me strong
my tears
connect
remind
lead to
who i am
not just Everything
i am
woman:
who cries
who loves
who cries to be loved
as
a child
who drinks her tears
i consume.
i am consumed.
tie a red thread and
re member
remember me
remember me?
you remember me!
i've been here all along
and
what work we can do
together.
be still
be still
and let me move you
move,
together
we'll learn this dance
together
20140126
20140106
20131117
[untitled]
I woke up early with the sun
and picked flowers from the sides
of lightposts, hydrants
a bouquet of orphans
weeds and dirty hands—
we walked together
when back at home
I stayed outside
and thought to lay my findings down
in an empty pot of soil
soft and too inviting
I did not know
I turned around or blinked—
and nothing remained,
nothing remained.
and picked flowers from the sides
of lightposts, hydrants
a bouquet of orphans
weeds and dirty hands—
we walked together
when back at home
I stayed outside
and thought to lay my findings down
in an empty pot of soil
soft and too inviting
I did not know
I turned around or blinked—
and nothing remained,
nothing remained.
20130928
The Place /
where people go for answers / why am i here? / seems as good a place as any /
statue stands with open arms, looking down at me /
i wait / it's warm for late september / sparrows sing & dance & play / child sobs / two men drink & laugh & sing some more / languages i cannot understand /
i listen / look up / above the outreaching mary / that beautiful arrow cuts through sky / that sharp cloud / and from my view / meets between two peaks, where crosses meet / and softens
/ disappears
. . .
I feel my fate: my fate finds me,
I feel my star: my star finds me,
I feel my aims: my aims find me.
my soul and the world are but one.
life grows more radiant about me,
life grows more arduous for me,
life grows richer for me.
statue stands with open arms, looking down at me /
i wait / it's warm for late september / sparrows sing & dance & play / child sobs / two men drink & laugh & sing some more / languages i cannot understand /
i listen / look up / above the outreaching mary / that beautiful arrow cuts through sky / that sharp cloud / and from my view / meets between two peaks, where crosses meet / and softens
/ disappears
. . .
I feel my fate: my fate finds me,
I feel my star: my star finds me,
I feel my aims: my aims find me.
my soul and the world are but one.
life grows more radiant about me,
life grows more arduous for me,
life grows richer for me.
20130826
20130809
20130806
ode to Heart
she amazes me, the Heart.
so resilient in her path
gentle and uncompromising
no baggage for the trip,
she knows
the only way to Life
a Heart unburdened with
that monstrous conductor pleading no, wait, please
where are we going? I must know, I must!
yet cannot bully the heart,
yet cannot bully the heart,
who yields, who smiles
who sees.
be strong dear one, and persevere—
Yours is the noblest endeavor.
20130803
testament to Self
I don’t wish to die with secrets on my lips
I want my hands dirty
to use this vessel
wear it out
marked up n down by a life worth living &
dirt beneath my fingernails
I don't want one part left untouched
saved up for rainy days
wondering what was to be had—
I will swallow the sun
I will drink down the rain
Every day a sacrament.
to use this vessel
wear it out
marked up n down by a life worth living &
dirt beneath my fingernails
I don't want one part left untouched
saved up for rainy days
wondering what was to be had—
I will swallow the sun
I will drink down the rain
Every day a sacrament.
20130726
My synapses are on fire
This happens periodically—-and it’s a good sign when it does—-sensory
overload, brought on by the realization of something new, or when I’m in
the process of discovering a passion. The mundane calls it mania. I
like to visualize it as the synapses in my brain meeting and making
love, with an orgasm that expands throughout my being. Babies are being
made. My heart picks up, tingling shoots down my arms and into my
fingertips, my jaw tickles the way it does sucking on sugar. It’s a
feeling of utter aliveness, of being connected with the world. I am in
touch with my inner Creator, and it is powerful.
The trick is not to drain all my energy in this process—-to ‘blow my load’, as it were. (and perhaps that’s what would define it as mania.) This feeling demands an outlet, fireworks can’t be shooting off indoors, after all. And when it comes to a release, the more streamlined the better. (for the sake of your comfort I will not continue with the sexual comparisons, though I’m sure you already went there, and besides! creation is creation)
My point is, I’m learning better how to gather this potent energy in a constructive way. As I grow older, I’m excited to remain in touch with this youthful connection to Magic, and couple it with the ability to refine and manifest it into something useful for the world. It’s a beautiful thing, to be alive, and yes, the Truth is corny!
The trick is not to drain all my energy in this process—-to ‘blow my load’, as it were. (and perhaps that’s what would define it as mania.) This feeling demands an outlet, fireworks can’t be shooting off indoors, after all. And when it comes to a release, the more streamlined the better. (for the sake of your comfort I will not continue with the sexual comparisons, though I’m sure you already went there, and besides! creation is creation)
My point is, I’m learning better how to gather this potent energy in a constructive way. As I grow older, I’m excited to remain in touch with this youthful connection to Magic, and couple it with the ability to refine and manifest it into something useful for the world. It’s a beautiful thing, to be alive, and yes, the Truth is corny!
 |
| look up |
20130716
Design Is... an AIGA Case Study!
http://www.aiga.org/case-study-design-is/
I'm excited to have this project recognized by AIGA. It was more than an enjoyable experience, where I got to meet 8 amazing people and push my interests during a time of professional boredom. It was a catalyst to uncover a new set of paths that are leading me to a beautiful life in creativity and working with others.
this project kind of changed my life.
this project kind of changed my life.
20130714
ready, set, DELIVER
I've had varying emotions, continuing on with this project. Much of me wanted to stop when I'd finished drawing and filling in the first layer body, feeling that I didn't want to ruin all the satisfying work I'd done. I liked the cool tones, and everything was soft and earthly.
But to stop now would be typical, and defeat the purpose behind the work's meaning. Perhaps I wanted to stop because I literally didn't know how to continue. Should I use paint? Markers? And I think I wanted to stop for another reason. Because I relate to this stage. Where I am still grounding myself, and feel the ghost of something greater, yet it is not the main voice just yet. Wait, wait, just a little while longer while I build myself up, then I'll jump. Don't shoot the gun yet.
Realizing this, I FELT the necessity of continuing, to manifest this persona in every sphere I can---to make time for her, to welcome this guiding energy into my life.
Plus, so far, everything had been done in colored pencil... canvas demands more than pencil. It BEGS for deep saturation. Enter: India Ink
Mainly a fiery red/orange, she has green limbs that soak in grounded energy. Her face and hair have a mix of colors (including silver, it's hard to see in the photo) as all these vitalities drive her action. She is magic, Intuition. It wasn't my intention, but she's become so prominent that she no longer looks like the spirit behind the Thinker -- she is a butterfly shedding her cocoon.
As my first return to drawing, and in a way, a brand new approach to self expression, I am happy and relieved to give birth. I feel accomplished and ready to take on the next step in my life. Bring it on!
But to stop now would be typical, and defeat the purpose behind the work's meaning. Perhaps I wanted to stop because I literally didn't know how to continue. Should I use paint? Markers? And I think I wanted to stop for another reason. Because I relate to this stage. Where I am still grounding myself, and feel the ghost of something greater, yet it is not the main voice just yet. Wait, wait, just a little while longer while I build myself up, then I'll jump. Don't shoot the gun yet.
Realizing this, I FELT the necessity of continuing, to manifest this persona in every sphere I can---to make time for her, to welcome this guiding energy into my life.
Plus, so far, everything had been done in colored pencil... canvas demands more than pencil. It BEGS for deep saturation. Enter: India Ink
Mainly a fiery red/orange, she has green limbs that soak in grounded energy. Her face and hair have a mix of colors (including silver, it's hard to see in the photo) as all these vitalities drive her action. She is magic, Intuition. It wasn't my intention, but she's become so prominent that she no longer looks like the spirit behind the Thinker -- she is a butterfly shedding her cocoon.
As my first return to drawing, and in a way, a brand new approach to self expression, I am happy and relieved to give birth. I feel accomplished and ready to take on the next step in my life. Bring it on!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)